Dear Drake's "Hotline Bling"...
When I first heard you, I can’t say that I fully understood what the hype was about. Then, as you played through the rotation on my Summer 2k15 playlist, I warmed up to your understated, late night, windows-down cruising on a dimly lit back road // in-your-feelings, glass in hand on a Wednesday night after you saw ol’ girl you used to chill and watch Netflix with pop up on your boy’s Instagram as his woman crush.
But then, one night as I cleaned my apartment and Drake-handed the lyrics to my miniature poodle, I stopped.
“You don’t need nobody else, no. Why you never alone? Why you always touchin’ road? Used to always be at home, you a good girl, you were in the zone. You should just be yourself; right now you’re someone else”
“‘Cause ever since I left the city you,
Started wearing less and going out more
Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor
Hanging with some girls I’ve never seen before”
This may be cute and all as you’re vibing to Drake (I listen to Take Care once a week; he’s one of my faves too), but it’s songs like these that have dudes acting out of pocket nowadays.
Drake – you don’t know her life! Just because you’ve never seen these girls before doesn’t mean she hasn’t potentially known them her entire life. This is the type of oppressive behavior that is so ingrained in our society and music that many don’t really stop to see the problem with it.
Let. Her. Live.
So now she’s not “a good girl.”
So now she’s “someone else”
So now she’s “wearing less and going out more” (read: insinuation of newly assumed promiscuity)
If she wants to get jiggy with it, sip on that bubbly or travel, what business of that is yours? Saying she’s not being herself. Maybe you held her back from being authentic. Maybe, she felt like she couldn’t be herself around you because you were such a controlling, oppressive boyfriend. MAYBE, you don’t know her at all.
As a freedom fighter – and I truly mean a fighter for freedom, in all sense of the word – it sickens me to see so many examples of judgmental reproach in the media and society. As women, we are placed in this very, very, very small box of what we should be. There are billions of women in this world, each with a unique method of being and existing. How dare you – as anyone outside of that woman – limit and assign parameters to that?
And sure, you might be thinking “Oh boy *cue eye roll*, here goes another feminist rant,” but before you disregard what I’m saying here, I encourage you to entertain another perspective.
A wise man once said…
So in today’s episode of #StateYourUnpopularOpinion,
I offer you a different perspective. I challenge you to think about what he’s saying. Think about how it conflicts with a woman’s right to have the agency and freedom to do as she pleases, without I-bench-200-now Drake insinuating an identity crisis because she hit up her squad from high school to hit the schmoney dance in a mini skirt & crop top at the club.
So the next time you’re mad ’cause ol’ girl is absolutely living without you, maybe you should examine what changed in her life. Yep. That would be you and your presence in it.
And honey, if you want to do those things, that’s your prerogative. Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Unless it’s illegal. But then that’s a whole different “man” holding you back and an entirely different discussion for another post some day.